Monday, May 9, 2011

You may have my heart

Nine months ago this month Tom Ritz held me under a full moon and said "This isn't a normal friendship is it?". "No, and thank you for acknowledging that" I said with relief that the truth had finally been spoken!
A few days later I dropped Tom off along side of the road so he could start hitch kicking to Portland main. From Portland to Portland.

From that point on Tom and I have been growing in love and truth. We have been extremely good, intimate friends for years, so having that friendship before hand truly laid down a foundation we will always be standing on!

A few months into our relationship I got a small package in the mail. You see, Tom was taking some time staying in a cabin to re calibrate his head and heart after starting a very serious relationship, and back packing through America.

I opened the envelope, and in it found a beautiful wooden heart and a note. With his handwriting.

The note explained how, if I would allow it to; this heart was meant to symbolize mine.
He took much effort in shaping it, and working hard for it; as he carved it out of a pine tree he found in the forest.
It was mine to keep. Until he was ready one day to have my heart. To have all of me.
I have held onto that heart for 5 months.

Friday night he found himself in my room and slipped my heart into his pocket.

Saturday afternoon, as we were in the middle of a most ordinary walk we stopped and looked into the bakery window of Petite Provence. This french bakery is one of our favorite spots. It was over breakfast here, he told me he loved me for the first time. And here is where we spent our first Valentines together.
We stopped, held each other, and gazed in at the delicious goodies.

"Oh look, what does this cake say?" he asked
I gazed on in, and soon found that it read "Come fly with me Desiraé"
I looked at him in awe and told him how beautiful it was and hugged him tightly.

He then pulled my heart out of his pocket and began to recall what the heart represented.
After some while of him speaking beautiful words he told me he was fully ready to care for my heart now. He was asking for my heart. He was ready.

I just stared at him in shock.


He then got down on one knee and I screamed.
I wish I could remember his exactly words, but all I remember is:

"Christ Likeness"
"I want to spend the rest of my life with you"

"Desiraé, will you be my bride?"

"Yes, Yes, I will" I finally managed to whisper.

He pulled out a white jewelry box and I screamed again.
He opened it and I screamed louder.

Tom Ritz put the ring on my finger.... after we clownishly decided to take off my glitten to have it fit properly.


We kissed the most sincere, deep, passionate kiss.
And kissed some more, and continued on for some while.
"Lets go have some cake" he said.

We walked into the bakery and I saw my fathers face, my eyes glazed over as I realized the whole restaurant was full of our community. (minus some sweet on lookers)

I turned into Tom's chest and I bawled. Completely overwhelmed with the man he was. He knew what I needed.


~ I wanted it to be a surprise. He couldn't have surprised me more!
~ I desperately wanted him to have time to express why he was proposing. He did so most eloquently.
~ More than anything, I needed our community to share this moment with us.

He knows me so intimately, and I can't even express how thrilled I a for us to know each other better.

Also, I found out later that the cake was raspberry chocolate.
FAVORITE

Ah yes, when he turned to walk us inside I stopped him.
"Tom, here is my heart. I am intrusting this to you now".

Tight hugs to so many people as I was bawling lasted for some time.
Tom was elated.

As I was hugging my mother - the first one at the door, she whispered
"Tom h'as one more surprise for you."
"I dont think I can handle it!"
"Turn around Des"

There was Bethany Lomas. Flown out from CA for our engagement.
I haven't seen her since before she left for India for 4 months.
She is one of the best friends I will ever have!
I started bawling all over again!

Soo many people showed up for that day, and even later on that evening as Tom had planned a celebration dinner at Edgefield with everyone.

Later Tom, Stacie, Beth, Andy and I all retreated to Stacie's house and we drank champagne and gave individual toast's to the evening.

It was a moving day.
We are so blessed with the people in our lives!

He is ready for my heart, and I his.
I trust Tom Ritz to the utmost, and couldn't be more elated with spending my life with him.

He will be a wonderful partner.

We are getting married!